“We ghostwrite your personal mythology. Your life will be aggressively normalon paper but cinematic in person. Canon- enforced. Cross-platform.”
The Problem
About Me · last edited neverword count: 14
/ origins
— born in [TODO]
— went to a school
/ the dark period
— had a rough Q3 2019
/ sworn enemies
— none (this is the problem)
/ defining moment
— got really into pour-over
At parties, when asked “so what’s your deal?” — you have a LinkedIn. Your LinkedIn is not a deal.
The Solution
Lore generates a consistent, multi-platform mythology for your life. The same origin story every time. The same scar. The same nemesis (a man named Roland). Versioned, cited, and defensible under cross-examination by your sister.
Lore · Canon v3.2 · Youconsistency 98.4% · party-tested
Origin
Born in a coastal town you've never been to. Raised by a botanist (deceased, mysteriously).
The Dark Period
"I lost a year." Won't elaborate. Will not. Stop asking, Aunt Linda.
Defining Skill
Can identify any bird by silhouette. (Confidence: trained in zoo gift-shop posters.)
Nemesis
Roland. You don't talk about Roland. The group will piece it together over time.
Brush With Death
A goose, in '17. You were never the same. The goose is fine.
Unspoken Talent
Could've gone pro at something. The system wouldn't allow it. The system being your knees.
The Canon Timeline
Lore generates a single source of truth, so the story you tell at a housewarming matches the story you mumbled to your therapist eight months ago. (She remembers. They always remember.)
Your canonical timeline · auto-synced across friend groups
Lore enforces continuity: if you tell your barber it was a swan, the app flags it before your barber tells your mom.
How It Works
Intake
we ask 4 boring questions
→
Canon Engine
generates your myth
→
Continuity Bot
watches your mouth
→
Party
you are now interesting
retcon support: yes · plot armor: $4/mo add-on
Pricing
Hobbyist
$01 backstory
- ✓Single timeline
- ✓Stock nemesis (Greg)
- ✓Watermark: “sponsored by Lore”
Auteur
$18/mo · most popular
- ✓Unlimited rewrites
- ✓Custom nemesis
- ✓1 (one) tragic flashback
- ✓Foreshadowing on a schedule
Cinematic Universe
$99/mo · family of 4
- ✓Shared canon (synced spouses)
- ✓Crossover events
- ✓Sibling rivalries (official)
- ✓Holiday-grade continuity audits
TAM
Total addressable normalcy
3.2B adults with a LinkedIn but no “deal” × $18/mo × 12 mo
= $691.2B
(excludes people who genuinely have a deal; we estimate this at fewer than 400.)
The Ask
$5M seed for: 2 engineers, 1 novelist (poached from a failed prestige drama), 1 continuity supervisor, and the rights to the name Roland.
Series A pitch:“We’re Wikipedia, but the subject is you and every citation is a vibe.”