← /daily-startup-idea
June 5, 2026
OOO
“Permanent out-of-office for your entire life. Every text, email, and ‘hey got a sec?’ gets a calibrated auto-reply. You are not unreachable. You are simply, eternally, at an off-site.”
The Problem
inbox · all accounts · 11:47pm sunday · you opened this on purpose
Mom
did you get the thing
3d
Slack · #general
@here quick favor 🙏
2d
Drew (college)
haha was thinking of you
6d
Dentist
you missed your appointment (4th)
11d
Calendly
Drew booked a 'quick chat'
5h
Patagonia
your fleece is 60% off!
1d
Mean time to reply: 17 days, or never. You will spend the rest of your life typing “sorry just seeing this!” to people you love.
The Solution
OOO answers every incoming message on your behalf with a calibrated, believable auto-reply. You appear to be at an off-site. You are at home eating a pretzel. Nobody can tell. The reply gets sadder and more authoritative the longer they push.
auto-reply escalation ladder · same person · across 6 weeks
day 0
them
“hey free for a call tmrw?”
auto-reply · soft brush
“I'm in deep work blocks through Friday — will circle back.”
day 4
them
“no worries! later next week?”
auto-reply · off-site
“At an off-site through the 14th, spotty wifi. Auto-replying.”
day 11
them
“hey just checking in 🙂”
auto-reply · retreat
“I'm on a personal retreat. Limited connectivity. Back soon-ish.”
day 23
them
“ok seriously where are you”
auto-reply · grief shield
“I'm grieving. Please respect my time.”
day 42
them
“your mom is worried”
auto-reply · nuclear
“This account is no longer monitored. For urgent matters: 911.”
you have not touched your phone · you are eating a pretzel
The Composer
ooo.studio · auto-reply composer · live
Status
▼ at an offsite (rolling · ends Tuesday · always Tuesday)
Believability ← → Distance
polite nomissing person
VIP allowlist (will reach you in < 4hrs)
Mom (Sat only)the landlordDr. Chen (kidney)Wordle group
Voice
warm but firmconsultantyrural pastortech CEO meditating
Preview
to: drew@gmail.com
re: hey got a sec?
Hi Drew —
I’m heads-down at an off-site through Tuesday with limited connectivity. I’ll circle back when I’m re-onboarded to my own life.
Warmly,
(you, allegedly)
I’m heads-down at an off-site through Tuesday with limited connectivity. I’ll circle back when I’m re-onboarded to my own life.
Warmly,
(you, allegedly)
sent · drew won’t reply for 11 days · you are free
Cortisol, modeled
ambient dread per inbound message · before vs. after ooo · n=1
Mom texts at 9pm92 → 14
Slack ping from Drew78 → 8
“quick call?”96 → 11
group chat @everyone71 → 4
the dentist88 → 22
Average dread reduction: 78%. Average friendships lost: 1.4 per quarter. We consider this a feature.
Pricing
Light Touch
$9/mo · soft brush only
- ✓Auto-reply during “work hours”
- ✓1 voice (boring consultant)
- ✓Cannot lie about location
Permanent OOO
$29/mo · most popular
- ✓24/7 calibrated replies
- ✓5-step escalation ladder
- ✓Custom off-site (fake, plausible)
- ✓Allowlist of 12 humans
Diplomatic Immunity
$199/mo · single seat
- ✓Replies routed through a fake assistant named Liv
- ✓Liv is firm. Liv has boundaries.
- ✓Inbox archived nightly (you don’t see it)
- ✓1 graceful resurfacing per year
TAM
Total addressable avoidance
2.6B adults with an unread badge × $29/mo × 12 mo
= $904.8B
(we will auto-reply to our own investor update with “circling back Tuesday”)
The Ask
$5M seed for: 3 engineers, 1 copywriter recently laid off from McKinsey, and a defamation lawyer on retainer for the inevitable call from someone’s grandmother who was told you’re “at an off-site.”
Series A pitch: “We’re Gmail, but your half of it is done.”