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May 29, 2026

Quorum

“Your launch party is in six hours and four people RSVP’d — one of them is your mom. Quorum fills the room with warm, well-rehearsed bodies who clap, gasp, and laugh on cue. $7 a seat.”

The Problem

Your launch · RSVPs · T-minus 6 hours4 / 120 seats
You invited 340 people. Four are coming. One is your mom, one is a recruiter who misread the invite, and one only RSVP’d to see whether the other one would. The room seats 120 and has the acoustics of a forgotten swimming pool.

The Solution

Open Quorum, browse the talent, and fill your seats à la carte. Every hire arrives early, dresses business-casual, and has memorized your founder origin story better than you have.

Quorum · Build your crowdcart: 38 seats · $312
Enthusiastic Nodder
nods on every third sentence
$5/hr×14
Front-Row Laugher
laughs 0.4s before the punchline lands
$9/hr×4
Softball Questioner
“Loved it — where do you see this in five years?”
$14×2
The Gasper
audible inhale at your big reveal
$7×3
Note-Taker (props)
writes nothing, radiates engagement
$4/hr×9
Standing-O Starter
rises first; the room is helpless to resist
$22×1
Blend-in guarantee: 99.4% (your mom remains suspicious)

How It Works

You
empty room, full panic
Quorum Dispatch
matches vibe to venue
The Crowd
arrives early, blends in
Your Event
packed, electric, fake
seats filled: 116 · genuine attendees: 4 · standing ovations: 1 (started on schedule)

The Reaction Engine

Every hire wears an earpiece synced to your slides. When you hit the magic word — “synergy,” “disrupt,” or the silence where you clearly expected applause — the room erupts exactly 1.1 seconds later, which the brain reads as genuine.

Applause-o-meter · live87 dB
“hi everyone”demo crashed (sympathy clap)“…any questions?”

Pricing

Open Mic
$0Free forever
  • 5 warm bodies/event
  • They may leave mid-talk
  • No laughter (BYO jokes)
Full House
$299/event · most popular
  • Up to 80 seats filled
  • Synced laughter + gasps
  • One standing ovation included
  • “Great question” on tap
Sold Out
Call usenterprise
  • Stadium-scale crowds
  • Press section (nods, won’t write)
  • Heckler suppression
  • SSO · SOC2 · NDA (they saw nothing)

TAM

Total addressable empty room
54M events/year × 80 seats × $7
= $30.2B
(excludes weddings, where the empty-seat problem is emotional, not logistical)

The Ask

$6M seed for: 4 engineers, a casting director, and 2,000 lanyards that read “Yes, I’m genuinely so excited to be here.”

Series A pitch:“We’re Uber, but the passengers are an audience and the destination is your self-esteem.”