“Hire a professional to witness your minor accomplishments in real time. If a sourdough rises and nobody sees it, it didn’t rise. Until now.”
The Problem
Things you accomplished today · observers: 0
08:14Folded a fitted sheet (correctly)unwitnessed
10:31Politely ended a phone call in under 4 minunwitnessed
12:45Ate a salad on purposeunwitnessed
14:02Did not respond to the Slack ping for 22 minutesunwitnessed
16:19Identified bird (correctly: a finch)unwitnessed
18:55Resisted a sale at J.Crewunwitnessed
The average adult lands 11 minor wins per day with zero verified observers. Posting them is gauche. Telling your partner is “a lot.” The wins quietly evaporate into nothing.
The Solution
Open the app. Hit WITNESS. Within 90 seconds, a verified human appears on your screen, watches you do the thing, reacts proportionately, and signs a tasteful PDF certifying that it happened.
3:47 PMWITNESSR●●●
Live witness · session #4,221
Marisol · CA · ★ 4.98
● LIVE
“Oh my god. That’s a beautiful loaf. I’m actually getting emotional.”
Gasps
3
“Wow”s
7
Tear-up
1
notarized in 14 states · admissible in family group chats
The Reaction Catalog
Every Witnessr is calibrated against our 47-point reaction taxonomy. Tip per intensity. Subtle is more expensive than loud.
Gentle gasp
$0.25· per occurrence
Audible “wowww”
$0.50· per occurrence
Slow clap (3+ claps)
$1.00· per occurrence
Single tear (verified)
$3.50· per occurrence
Whispered “...wow.”
$2.00· per occurrence
Looks at camera, mouths “huh”
$4.00· per occurrence
How It Works
You
did a thing
→
Witnessr Cloud
pages on-call witness
→
Marisol
puts down dinner
→
Live witnessing
audible gasp
→
Certified PDF
you exist now
median session: 4m 18s · tree-falls-in-forest: resolved · vibes: load-bearing
Why Now
Cultural acceptability of self-promotion, 2014 → 2026
2014Posting it on Facebook
88%
2018Posting it on LinkedIn
64%
2021Soft-launching it on a Story
42%
2024"Just texting one friend"
22%
2026Hiring Marisol
96%
Public bragging is dead. Private validation is the new private jet.
Pricing
Free
$01 witnessing/mo
✓Group session (4 strangers watch together)
✓Reactions limited to "yep" and "mhm"
✓PDF in 5-7 business days
Seen
$19/mo · most popular
✓Unlimited witnessings (under 6 min)
✓Premium reactions unlocked
✓Pick your favorite recurring witness
✓Notarized PDF, framed (digital)
Beheld
$149/mo · 1 seat
✓Standing retainer (Marisol on-call 24/7)
✓Sustained applause add-on
✓“I always knew you could” voice memo
✓Witness travels (NDA, per diem)
TAM
Total addressable existence-confirmation
3.4B adults who folded something today × $19/mo × 12 mo
= $775.2B
(excludes the 11 monks who do not require external validation; we are studying them)
The Ask
$6M seed for: 3 engineers, a casting director who can identify a “believable gasp” in < 4 seconds, and a notary on retainer to stamp PDFs all day, every day, with feeling.
Series A pitch:“We’re Twitch, but the streamer is you, the game is your life, and the chat is one contractually-obligated woman named Marisol.”